Original article from our Medium News
Many people, especially children, struggle to keep up appearances and be liked by others. What Oprah calls “the disease to please” has taken over our everyday lives and has caused people to make radical changes in pursuit of achieving these goals. This problem does not only affect children, but also adults.
Dark Joseph Ravine, creator of Kindness for Success, encourages people to be themselves and not change to please anyone as this is often fruitless. Ravine is a firm believer in allowing nature to run its course rather than forcing anything to happen. Kindness for Success aims to bring awareness to this to reduce bullying as much as possible.
Says Ravine, “When we address young audiences, what we ask is: how long do you think you can keep up appearances and try to please others? Sometimes, you may end up behaving in ways you never imagined were possible. There is a lot of pressure to fit in with your peers and you may end up hating on someone who is different just because everyone else does or investing money and time in the people who do not have any interest in you.” One of our strongest beliefs here at Kindness for Success is being yourself. When you change your personality to suit the people you are with, you are not being authentic. Says Ravine “Be a leader, not a follower, and be known for your kindness.”
An important point to remember is that high school ends after graduation. Most people go their own separate ways and forget about their high school experience. Preventing bullying may be difficult, but it can be comforting to know that these situations won’t last forever. It is important that children stay true to who they are and stand up to bullies. Children should also not be pressured into fitting in with crowds that they don’t feel comfortable with. Therefore, it is important for children to allow life to progress naturally, and not use means of force to achieve what they want
Bullying happens not only in schools, but in workplaces, as well. Bullying in the professional world can come in the form of managers playing favorites, pitting coworkers against one another, or coworkers who are jealous of their peers and are seeking to sabotage them. When bullying happens, we struggle to know how to respond. While we may think that reasoning with the bully is the right thing to do, it may not help. In the workplace, employees who are being bullied often fear a loss of employment, so they tolerate bullying for months on end. This not only can affect one’s health, but also productivity.
What we hope to convey is that one need not take extreme measures to please anyone, especially not people who are harmful. Rather, it is admirable to stay true to one’s values. Find a suitable group of people to belong with. One’s life and self will enhance greatly, especially when one can let go and allow life to take its intended course.